What does the fairy-tale prince who wins the heart of a Disney princess have to do with how we ask for sex in a relationship, for example? More than you might think at first glance. Stories, films, and advertising teach us from an early age how women and men are supposed to be. These stereotypes influence not only our everyday lives but also our sex lives and our understanding of consent.
You have certainly been confronted with the word "stereotype" many times before. We humans tend to sort other people — and ourselves — neatly into all kinds of boxes and categories. So the question is: what is the point of all this?
Forming stereotypes is a completely normal psychological process. We live in an extremely complex social environment that floods our human brain with a torrent of information it could not possibly process in full. To cope with this flood, our brain resorts to simplifications. Stereotypes make it easier for us to categorise people and situations and allow us to make decisions more quickly. At the same time, stereotypes can have a prescriptive character and function as behavioural rules to help us navigate our environment, since stereotype-conforming behaviour is often rewarded by those around us.
So stereotypes initially function as useful shortcuts in our brain. They reduce complexity and save us energy. The negative influence begins where these simplifications become rigid assumptions and blank out individual differences.
Gender-specific stereotypes are not innate. Just like all other stereotypes, they are learned over the course of a lifetime and reinforced through constant repetition. As children, we already notice which behaviour is praised in girls and boys and which is criticised.
An important factor in the formation of stereotypes is salience. Salience refers to the prominence of a stimulus — how conspicuous something is, such as a bright red T-shirt. Put simply, stereotypes are more likely to form around groups that can be quickly distinguished by conspicuous external features. These features then quickly become expectations. So when a baby is dressed in a pink or a blue onesie, it may initially make it easier for the outside world to tell whether the child is Paul or Paula, but at the same time it comes with a mountain of attributions, behavioural assumptions, and rules.
The mechanisms through which stereotypes operate are not limited to us making snap judgements. Rather, stereotypes influence simply everything — "what" we perceive and "how" we perceive it.
They influence:
Memories are not simply formed by retrieval; they are actively reconstructed — in a way that fits our current information or beliefs. When filling in gaps in our memories, we make systematic errors that are linked to gender stereotypes.
For example, if you were at a playground last week as a parent with five other parents and their children but can only remember four of those people, the brain often automatically assumes that the fifth person was a woman — because that fits the stereotypical image of parents at a playground more closely.
On the other hand, if you see a man and a woman in a meeting room, most people would assume at first glance that the man is the superior, even if on closer inspection you notice that he is rather listening and taking notes while the woman is giving instructions. Stereotypes therefore not only influence what prejudices we hold against others but can actually lead us to falsely generate stereotype-consistent memories and misinterpret situations.
Gender-specific stereotypes do not stop at relationships and sexuality either. From an early age, our environment conveys a particular image: men are said to always want sex and therefore have to take the initiative, while women are considered to be reserved "gatekeepers" — they supposedly need to be convinced first and thereby decide on access to sexuality. Men are expected to actively lead the way; women are allowed at best to react but should not take any initiative themselves.
From these role models, a problematic expectation arises: when a sexual advance is rejected, men are supposed to persist. In films, this very behaviour — ignoring rejection and simply keeping on trying — is often portrayed as romantic or passionate.
In real life, however, this script quickly becomes a problem: when people adopt this behaviour from films and other media, it can make clear communication considerably more difficult. Especially in new relationships, it is then often hard to distinguish where playful teasing ends and where a real boundary begins — and seriously communicated boundaries are not infrequently dismissed as "playing hard to get."
Stereotypes therefore influence not only how we think about men and women but also how we perceive, evaluate, and behave in sexual situations. The more we free ourselves from rigid role models, the more room there is for open communication, mutual respect, and an understanding of consent that is based on clear and voluntary agreement. Ultimately, it is not gender roles but the wishes, needs, and boundaries of the people involved that should determine how we interact with one another in everyday life and in intimate situations.
– Nikolas Böhnel, 16 September 2026