"One cannot not communicate," writes Paul Watzlawick in his five axioms of communication. While this statement may seem confusing at first, it actually makes a lot of sense. Whether it's our partner's irritated silence after an argument, or the flirty glance of a stranger on the train – even without words, we are constantly communicating with the world around us.
Communication can always be defined as an exchange of signs between at least two people through which information is transmitted. The basis for this is that those involved share the same background knowledge and the same repertoire of signs. Imagine you're on holiday at a café and want to order something, but you and the waiter don't speak the same language. Since you don't share the same linguistic knowledge, communication on that level might prove rather difficult. Perhaps, however, you do share an understanding of hand gestures and can communicate that way.
As this example shows, there are different types of communication. These can broadly be divided into verbal and non-verbal communication. The tools of verbal communication include not just speaking, but also listening, asking questions, explaining, laughing, and humour. In a conversation, these tools are usually combined. If someone asks me a question about something I've said, I can assume they were probably listening. If someone laughs at my joke, I know they understand my sense of humour. And humour and laughter play a particularly wonderful role in verbal communication – they help us build and maintain relationships with others.
Non-verbal communication, on the other hand, includes things like facial expressions, body language, physical proximity or distance, and gestures such as waving or a thumbs-up. This is what Watzlawick's axiom refers to, as do sayings like "actions speak louder than words."
Through our posture, our gaze, and our facial expressions, we communicate to those around us – more or less consciously – how we are feeling or what we are thinking. If someone is beaming at us, grinning with their head held high, we assume they're doing well. If someone is hunched over and sobbing on the floor, we assume they are not – and all of this without any verbal communication.
In intimate situations, too, we communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Posture and eye contact can tell us a great deal about how someone is feeling in a given moment. However, for people we don't know very well or haven't known for long, reading these non-verbal signals correctly can be difficult. Since the shared background knowledge is not yet well established, misinterpretations and misunderstandings can occur. This is where verbal communication can help: as long as you speak the same language, in ambiguous situations silence no longer speaks louder than words – words themselves bring greater clarity.
– Helena Ziegler, 10 March 2026